Unkle Munky Pg 78
Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions. *Munky is also available here... ---- This week Munky is that boy, that girl... *Click here to play... *Videos prone to removal. ---- Cross Words! Anthony from Gwynedd asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I am currently attempting to complete the crossword in ‘Agony Monthly’ and was wondering if you might be in a position to help me with twenty-nine down? The clue is - A five letter word often used to describe Unkle Munky, the second letter is ‘D’ and the fifth letter is ‘T’. Unkle Munky says -''' Dear Anthony, I can only assume that the word you are looking for is ‘Adept’. ''Dear Anthony, I successfully completed the aforementioned crossword yesterday and can confirm that twenty-nine down is ‘Idiot’.'' 'Unkle Munky says -' Ahem. Disgraceful behaviour! Please get me the editor of Agony Monthly on the telephone at your earliest possible convenience Ms. Motion Sickness. ---- Bungle Bear. Thanks Bungle. ---- A short paws whilst Munky attempts to secure a banana related pay increase from the British Board of Agony. ---- Janet from Flintshire asks - Dear Unkle Munky, My recently released boyfriend has managed to secure a part time job at the local chip shop. I am very pleased for him but also a little distressed with regards to the way he now smells. What can I do and no mistake? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Janet, Your recently released boyfriend is to be congratulated on securing employment. A steady income will help him to stay on the straight and narrow. With reference to your query; Complimenting your partners aroma might help you to overcome this unfortunate work related condition. I would suggest, on this occasion, that you attempt to secure employment at some kind of fish market. Failing this, you could simply slip a mackerel up your blouse. ''Fuckin' useless!'' ---- Munky's Spirit Guide. Wayne from Colechester asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Have you managed to contact your spirit guide yet with regards to my late gran’s unusual last will and testament request? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Wayne, Contacting my spirit guide is becoming increasingly difficult of late. His concert schedule is, to be quite frank, currently increasing at a rate not dissimilar to that of his waistline. Happily, however, I was able to pose your question late last night during his regular burger break… *Elvis (Munky’s Spirit Guide) Thanks Elvis. ---- Wendy from Slough asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I am a big fan of pointing and was wondering what particular objects I should be concentrating on at this time of the year? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Wendy, I have consulted my ‘Victoria Beckham Big Book of Pointing’ and can reveal that falling leaves are currently favoured amongst those who subscribe to this exciting new activity. Wendy replies - Thanks Munky. Falling leaves sound just perfect and no mistake. ---- The Banal Brothers. 'Unkle Munky -' Zzzzzzzz…. Munky! Wake up! 'Unkle Munky says -' Ahem. Oh. Sorry Mary. Those Banal brothers bore me shitless and no mistake. ---- Janet from Dewsbury asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I have just purchased a new pair of shoes and was wondering how I might stop them from squeaking? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Janet, Fitting bells to your new shoes will instantly smother the squeaking annoyance of which you speak. ---- Ref. Picture anomaly. Dear Ms. Motion Sickness, Could please explain as to why you felt it necessary to attach a sea related picture to the previous query? ''Ms. Motion Sickness replies - Oh. Sorry Munky. I misread your counsel with regards to said query and thought that had you advised Janet to fit shells to her shoes.'' 'Unkle Munky says -' Waste of fuckin’ time! Incidently, did you manage to get this week’s ‘final word’ organised? ''Ms. Motion Sickness says - Oh yes Munky. It’s quite a scoop and no mistake…''' ---- The Final Word. This week’s final word goes to the king of pope music, Sir Cliff Richard. '''Unkle Munky -' Oh fer fuck’s sake! ---- Unkle Munky is also available here... ---- Next... Previous... The Diary of a Munky... Return to Munky Menu...